An island of chaos in a sea of tranquility

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Yup. It’s a shed.   Not just any shed though.  This is my Shed.   The home of Little Project and a dozen other half baked ideas.  I thought perhaps might be a good day to put away the iPhone camera, get out the posh(er) camera and take my reader(s) on tour around the shed.

The shed predates my move to this house.   Frankly, I would never have had the courage to erect such a fine and spacious storage facility. I have never measured it but when it is empty it is roughly 800 yards long at 200 yards wide.   When it is not empty it is around 3 foot by 1 foot.  This roughly averages out to 12 foot long and 8 foot wide in real terms.

There is no power or water.  I have a very very long extension cable that connects to the house (as long as there is a door open into the house,  I have explained several times that it is healthy to get fresh air into the house through the winter months).   As a setting, shed sits behind an unused trampoline.  The trampoline is useful as an outside storage deck (one has to remember to place things on it rather than cast them carelessly,  the thrown item tends to bounce merrily over the trampoline and land with a clatter on the floor) and in front of my (somewhat neglected) vegetable patch.   It’s sort of at the bottom of the garden because the veggie patch is unclaimed (except by myself and neighbours) land.

Let us take a look inside.    Firstly, I remember briefly mentioning Cookie Knight in a past post.

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When Cookie Knight gets disturbed there is a sound of a sword being drawn and the cry of “Keep thy thieving hands out of my cookie jar”.   Cookie Knight is stored on the top level of the “do not touch” shelving unit (he is keeping Seat company up there).    The “do not touch” shelves hold all of the bits of Little Project that need nothing more doing to them but are just waiting to be fitted.

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The contents of these shelves are reducing slowly as I move along but were increased substantially (if only briefly) today by the arrival of a front tyre and a chain and sprocket set.   “Do not touch” shelves can be found at the front of the shed blocking one of the double doors.   They will need to be disassembled before Little Project can exit the shed.   On that day they cease being “do not touch” shelves and will have to find new employment elsewhere.

One of the important things when dismantling and re-assembling a rusty old farm bike is to make sure that you know what all of the bits are that you are taking off so that you know where they are supposed to go when you put them back on again.   I came to this conclusion a little late in the dismantling game but once there embraced it wholeheartedly.   Hence we have the “shopping line of dislocated parts”.

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This is a length of climbing rope strung from one end of the shed to another containing little plastic bags neatly labeled with their contents.   The bags are tidily held in place by pegs stolen from a container that somebody had foolishly left near a clothes line in the garden.   I think it only fair that the entire house contributes to my great endeavour.   Obviously the shopping line of dislocated parts is only useful for smaller items.   You would be hard pressed to find a peg manly enough to hold up a bag with, say, a cylinder head in it.   I cunningly allowed for this with the “spare parts” shelf.

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You’ll never guess what’s on the spare parts shelf.   The lower decks have featured previously because they contain the engine room.    The blue yacht shaped item in the background is a previous little project.  A three foot radio controlled yacht.   It’s really good fun to sail on the right day in the right weather but it can be a bit fiddly to set up and there’s probably not quite enough weight in the keel.   One day…

My workbench contains all of the things that a man needs to keep on going with a Little Project.  One of the most convenient is the pot of nuts and bolts.

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Technically, it’s a biscuit tin but I think of it as a pot.   Should you embark on a similar project I recommend stocking up in a similar way.   It’s so easy to just grab the correct bolt when you need it.   There’s the additional satisfaction that all of these little chaps came from my home town.  You can find a link to the supplier on the “It’s cost how much?” page.

Speaking of useful stuff.   Here are a couple of things that have either saved me getting oil everywhere or saved me a lot of rubbing down.  All using bits available from your local supermarket.

Forks (again!) frequently leak oil when you are fiddling with them.   Even when you think you’ve drained them the little rascals drip and drip and drip.   If you store them like this

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in an empty plastic milk carton then all of the oil collects in the carton and then you can go and pour it down your neighbours drain (or dispose of it responsibly, whichever takes your fancy).

When you are spraying little bits of things (with paint, not like a tom cat who’s marking his territory, I don’t think this would work for him) that are difficult to hang (hanging is good for spraying things because you can get all around them easily) and are not too bulky, rather than rest them on newspaper and run the risk of the paper sticking to your pristine paintwork, lay them on a couple of kebab sticks.

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Then you can get a nice shiny finish without having a page three girl attached to your petrol tank.   I’m absolutely positive that any professional sprayers would be aghast at this but hey, you probably write rubbish computer code. I’m not complaining!

That’s it.   By Sunday, we should have a wheel in the frame and I will have decided what to do about handlebars.   I hope that all of my reader(s) have a good weekend and I thank you for the time you’ve spent reading the above twaddle.

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