Way down inside

Wanna whole lotta love.

Readers in the United Kingdom of a certain age will associate the intro to Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love” with Top of the Pops.    The program was presented by an eclectic selection of Radio 1 DJ’s (some of whom have recently fallen from grace in a spectacular and shocking way) and played the top hits of the week.    It always ended with a countdown of the top 30 and then the current number one song.

“What the heck has that got to do with Little Project?” I hear some of the more attentive amongst you mutter rebelliously.

Well this Wednesday post (I know, you think it is Friday lunchtime, you’re just late getting the post, nothing to do with me having to work for a living, no no no) features the top ten disasters of the Little Project story so far.    I’ve a feeling we may be having a “straight in at number one” on Sunday because I took another look at the engine I have promised to make work again.  However, in traditional reverse order countdown (and if you could jut be humming that “De dah de dah dum, chi chum chi chum” bit from the song as you read this please, or you can put this on in the background).

At number 10 we have the day I sprayed my bum black whilst trying to take a photograph of the newly installed wheel.

At 9 is the moment when, after a frustrating day of hitting things with a hammer I took a relaxing stroll around the vegetable patch.  Whilst removing a few weeds I cast the key to the shed into the West London equivalent of a bayou and it has never been seen again.

In at number 8 is the moment that I vowed not to mention when I was trying to remove the fork seals from one of the many sets of forks that have passed through the shed.   Using a long screwdriver I was trying to lever out the seal very gently (by hitting the screwdriver with the BFH) and in a moment of excessive hammering the screwdriver snapped in half, propelling the broken end of the screwdriver through shed window and embedding it in the pear tree outside.  The handle of the screwdriver bounced off my foot and cannoned into a milk bottle containing the sludgy oil extracted from the forks, spilling it all over the lawnmower that it was resting on.

Number 7 is from the classic “My goodness, how rusty is that?” band.    Removing the spindle from the back wheel also involved FBH, a broken 17mm spanner and several hacksaw blades.

Number 6 may just be being followed by an inquisitive crowd of chip crazed hairy men whilst wondering around a motorcycle jumble sale with springs that had been soaked in vinegar, making me the most odourous man in Kempton.

I think number 5, and a personal favourite (although I can’t remember mentioning it in the blog) was when I left the shed door open overnight.   The shed was invaded by the local fox who chose to poo on several bits of Little Project and some of my tools.   Of course I didn’t notice until I had liberally spread fox faeces all over the garden.   And the kitchen.    And the stairs.   Fortunately it was all cleaned up before anyone who may have been concerned found out.

Number 4 must be breaking the hairdryer (again) whilst trying to remove old and mangled stickers from various bits of Little Project that needed painting.

Number 3 has to be electrics.   I am still working my way through connecting things up.   My mum used to spend the evening knitting things whilst watching the TV.   I spend my evenings in a similar fashion except I have a string of electrical cables on my lap.

Number 2.   Although not exactly my fault, the fact that the serial number for the frame got sandblasted off during the powder coating incident has caused no end of grief.

No 1 is of course the brake thingy that took four weeks to remove.  I still look at the removed bits occasionally and chunter under my breath at how close I came to giving up on them.

I should just take a moment to thank whoever it was who read all of the posts on both Little Project and Verbal Hedge on Wednesday.  Gosh you made the stats look good!   For those of you who may be interested in such things, there is an average of 57.5 reads of each post.  This doesn’t include those who get the blog emailed directly to their inbox.  I have no idea who you all are but I do thank you for your continued patience.

Sunday’s blog will also be called “Way down inside” (or something very close) and sometime today there will be a blog on the Verbal Hedge.   Bet you can’t guess what it is called!


2 thoughts on “Way down inside

  1. Pingback: Way down inside | The verbal hedge

  2. Robbie, if you are aware of this, please forgive me. It doesn’t seem to be common knowledge judging by the number of authors who think that grinding the serial number off a gun renders it untraceable! A number which has been stamped onto steel and then ground off, can be made to reappear by painting the area with a solution of acid and water. I think it might be nitric acid (but may be some other acid) and I cannot remember the ratio of water to acid. It is over 35 years since I did this and memory has failed me. However I am sure a search of the internet will reveal all.

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