The Glossary

Phrases and terms used in the blog that may not be familiar to everybody.    Listed in the order that I used them because I am far too lazy to put them into alphabetical order…

Postman Pat – A fictional character aimed at pre-school children.   He lives in Greendale and has a cat called Pat.   He is very shortsighted.

Elbow Grease – Manual labour.  Not available in Halfords.

Halfords – An automotive parts retailer who provides products that never do what they say they will.

James Herriot – Veterinary Surgeon and author of humorous books about putting your hand up a cows bum.

10mm spanner fairy – Mythical invisible creature who steals and occasionally returns to a different place any type of undoing implement with a measurement of 10mm (that’s about 3/8ths inch in old money).

WD40 – An elixir used to remove squeaks and lubricate things.  Also a component of the rust removal bath.

Buggerit – The phrase to use when striking ones thumb with a hammer.

BFH – The biggest flipping hammer.

Cookie Knight – A biscuit box in the shape of a knight.  It speaks – often without prompting.

Gabon – Country on the west side of Africa.   Famous for being supported by me during a football match at the 2012 Olympics.

Seat – The most traveled part in the history of Little Projects.

Phileas Fogg – Fictional character from “Around the world in 80 days”.   Would have delivered Seat faster than Australia Post.

Australia Post – Alleged delivery organisation.   I suspect they use canoes for crossing the Pacific.

History of Little Project – A totally accurate and legitimate tale of how Little Project ended up in Twickenham.

Twickenham – Home of Little Project and also of English Rugby.

Rugby – Game played between lots of large men and an egg shaped ball.   Often resembles turning out time in a pub in one of the less salubrious parts of London.

Old school jumper – Used to stop sawing off fingers when using a hacksaw blade in confined places.

Lidl – German supermarket that has obscure and unrelated goods between the cereals and the biscuits.

Rocking horse poo – Something that is very scarce.

Hens teeth – See Rocking horse poo.

Horse feathers – See Hens teeth.

SORN – Statutory Off Road Notification – What you have to do in the UK when you have a vehicle that is not being used on the road.

UPS – Very efficient delivery organisation.

Vinegar – Logical companion to chips.   Also a component of the rust removal bath.

Chips – Made from potatoes cut into 1cm (1/2 inch) wide slices, deep fried and served hot.  Not served cold in a cellophane bag.

NOS – New Old Stock – For the rebuilder a godsend – For the vendor an opportunity to charge three times as much as the original list price.

HOAP – Formerly Honda On A Pallet.   Latterly Honda Off A Pallet.

Mouse – Deceased contents of Little Project barrel.

Gunk – Removes road debris and muck – A minor (and accidental) component of the rust removal bath.

Moleskin – Heavy cloth or rag used to shape solder.

Twaddle – A description of how I write.

Reginald Perrin – TV character who faked his suicide and then set up life as a shopkeeper selling useless things from an outlet called Grot.

Hairdryer – Notoriously fickle device for removing stickers and defrosting the fridge.  Can also be used to dry wet hair.

Antipristine – The opposite of Pristine.

Unpristine – A synonym for Antipristine.

Allen key – Hexagonal shaped device for removing screws and bolts with hexagonal sockets – also known as a Hex key.

Torx key – Officially a star shaped device for removing screws and bolts with star shaped sockets.  Unofficially used for hammering into holes drilled into screws and bolts with mangled sockets.

Richard and Judy – Husband and wife journalistic team.  Judy once had a  wardrobe malfunction at the National Television Awards but would probably be preferred to be remembered for other things.

The Verbal Hedge – Twaddle about things other than Little Project.

Rust removal bath – A vat of noxious substances mixed in a secret recipe and designed to remove rust from any object, large or small.

Gary Numan – 1980’s electro rocker and previously lead singer of Tubeway Army.

Cycleanalysis – Technical term for understanding what goes on in the head of Little Project.

5 thoughts on “The Glossary

  1. Pingback: It’s only words | An abandoned Honda

  2. I didn’t need a glossary. That’s not to say that yours was superfluous. It was as enjoyable and entertaining as all your written pieces are. Anyway – more of the same, please.

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